The Past Returns
by E-DeSolis
Summary: AU Raven maybe the Hero of Fereldan and the Commander of the Grey but after Alistair's betrayal she still feels broken. But a chance encounter with a man from her past may give her the future that she was hoping for. Rated M for language, adult relationships and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Age or anything afflicted with Dragon age and the Bioware Company. At times I truly wish I did though.**

_Crystal blue eyes, long brown hair falling around a handsome face "Mother, I think she is waking up."_

It was a good dream, which was a relief from the nightmares of darkspawn, of a time Raven remembered quite fondly. It had been three years since the massacre at Highever, two years since the end of the Blight and her appointment to Commander of the Grey and Arless of Amaranthine. She was the Hero of Fereldan and King Alistair Theirin had broken her heart. He had succumbed the pressure of the court to find a suitable wife that could produce heirs for the throne, with them both being Grey Wardens, the possibility of producing an heir was almost nonexistent.

She had made new friends during her stay at Vigil's keep and reacquainted herself with some old ones. Nate, Oghren and Anders helped her through the first few weeks at the Keep. Oghren would make fun of the Royal Pike Twirler while Anders constant flirting would help lift her mood. Nate on the other hand after a very rocky start ended up becoming her closest confidant, he helped her with keeping the new wardens in line and would sit and listen whenever she needed it.

Fergus had recently sent her the journals that she had kept since her father gave her one on her thirteenth birthday. They had arrived a few weeks after Anders and Justice had disappeared and they were a welcome diversion. She could remember what had happened form her dream thanks to them and she found herself lost in that memory now…..

She had just turned seventeen and her family was staying in a hunting lodge owned by Arl Eamon that was located on a small lake near Lothering. Her mother thought that she was heading to the Chantry in Lothering to help the sister just like a dutiful daughter should do. Fergus was suppose to escort her there but he had left her to go to the tavern with Roderick. Raven had then decided to sneak off to the woods around Lothering to do some target practice with her bow. She could remember riding Tarrant her black stallion, jumping over logs and streams while shooting targets that she had hung up earlier during their visit. Shadow her newly acquired marbri pup was squirming in her pack that she had tied to her saddle and something in the grove ahead of her spooked Tarrant and the next thing she remembered was crystal blue eyes staring at her.

"Mother, I think she is waking up," the owner of the eyes said. He had long brown hair that was falling over his eyes at the moment and she could see the tattooing on his face. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed that she was laying in. There was another boy sitting next to a door with her pack in his lap holding on to a finger that looked like it was recently bitten.

"You do know that it is not very wise to put your fingers near a young mabari's mouth right?"

"Look at that Brayden, you go off hunting and you bring back a girl with a wit just like yours."

"Well Carver both I and Bethany warned you about that pup. She doesn't seem to like any of us but at least she tolerated me long enough to get you back. By the way what is your name?"

"I am Raven Cousland, and Shadow would probably be fine if you let her out of the pack she just needs to know that I am okay."

"A Cousland well that could mean trouble for us."

"Carver you worry too much. There hasn't been a search party yet and I can take her home once Mother and Bethany say she is well enough to travel," at that she began to sit up and suddenly realized she wasn't in her own clothes. She looked down and saw that she was wearing a cotton nightgown and upon further inspection of her surroundings she saw her leather armor and her over dress sitting on a chest near the wall. "Hey there is no moving around until Mother says it's okay. Carver let the pup out it might stop biting you that way."

"Come here Shadow," Carver had opened her pack and Shadow ran over and jumped on the bed, "that's a good girl."

Brayden watched as the small pup began to lick her face then moved to the end of the bed and watched over her in a very protective manner. The girl in his bed was one of the most beautiful creatures he had ever seen. When she was riding, her raven hair flowed free behind her she was hitting her mark with the bow every time. Some of her shots seemed near impossible. He hadn't meant to intrude on her but he had been wondering for days who had put up the targets. He saw the wolf jump out into the grove and her horse rear up causing her to fall. He ran over to her quickly and finished off the wolf with his daggers after her horse had kicked it. He first made sure she was okay then went to calm her horse.

He noticed the pack on the saddle was moving and looked inside. The growling and snapping pup gave way to the fact that this was her mabari and he knew not to get involved. He had always wanted one and studied everything about them. He knew that they bonded to a person and nothing could ever break that bond it was for life. They would protect and follow that person until they died, this girl was a lucky one indeed. He brought her back to their cabin in the woods for his sister to heal. His mother and sister took over his room since its large window allowed for her horse that was tied up outside to see in. Her horse was just as protective of her as the pup in the pack. His mother had left him to watch over her as she and Bethany went to the village to get some more supplies.

Now with her looking at him with piercing green eyes he knew he was going to be in trouble. His father had once told him that he had fell in love with his mother the moment their eyes had connected. Sure he had fancied other women before some even in the Circle that he was in but Leandra was the one and he knew it. Brayden missed his father, the Templars had killed him the winter before for being a mage and now the duty of protecting his family and mostly his sister fell to him. Bethany was an excellent healer but don't get her mad because her fire magic was powerful.

"Mother should be back soon and once her and my sister say it is okay I will get you back to your people. You took a nasty fall your head might be sore for a few days but I wouldn't walk on that ankle for a week. Bethany healed the break but it is still weak. "

"So I guess that means this is your sister's nightgown and they are the one that removed mine." That made him blush and Raven smile.

"They got most of it off I had to help them with your dagger sheaths. I have never seen anything like them before," he said as he stood to retrieve them from the top of his chest. "Who made this harness?"

"It was a gift from my father for my birthday this year. It allows me to hide them when I have to wear stupid dresses to please my mother. She is not too fond of the fact that I can take down most of the guards in Highever. I had a trainer to teach me for awhile until mother found out that he was not a dance instructor that my father had told her that he was. Now I just train with my brother Fergus and the knights. Mother has pretty much given up the fact that I am not going to be the perfect and dutiful daughter she wants, but she hasn't totally accepted me for who I am."

"What about the daggers?"

"Some guy in Denerim, I can't really remember his name. Fergus got them for me, he says his little sister deserves the best. I think it is because he broke my favorite one during a sparring match and he ended up being beaten by me after that. I was a little mad and didn't talk to him for weeks after that."

"Your family seems nice and they seem to care for you a great deal, so why isn't anyone searching for you right now?" Brayden looked around and noticed that Carver had left and he could hear his mother and sister off in the distance.

"Well Fergus and Roderick were suppose to watch over me but they are in the tavern. By the time they notice that I am late to meet up with them they will look for me themselves. They will not want to deal with the wrath of my parents."

"I know what that means. I can hear my mother and sister they will be here soon. Once they give the okay I will take you back. You have only been gone a few hours so hopefully your brother will still be in the village if not we can figure something out from there."

"Thank you Brayden... for saving me."

"You're welcome Lady Cousland."

"Raven, call me Raven"

She could remember the trip back to the Lothering and then back to the lodge since they couldn't find her brother. Brayden had ridden behind her on Tarrant and Shadow rode in her lap, they both seemed to warm up to him on their trip.

"Raven I have to ask you not to tell anyone about us please. Bethany could be taken away because of what she is and that would destroy what is left of our family."

"I won't Brayden on one condition." She had turned slightly to look at him and he raised an eyebrow to her. "I will not tell if you meet me next week in Lothering."

"For you I think I can arrange that. Just leave a note for Hawke in the tavern for when you want too meet and I will be there." All she could do was blush at that. The rest of the summer was a blur, she and Brayden had been inseparable, it was perfect. The last day at the lodge before they returned to Highever he had snuck into the grounds and met her in the gardens. That was where she got her first kiss and it still haunted her to this day.

A week after her eighteenth birthday her life went to hell and that was that. Highever may have been her home once but now Vigil's keep was where she belonged. Her memories of the past brought back a lot of happiness but there was also sadness. She used to wonder if the Hawke family had made it out of Lothering. When she was there during the blight Bethany and Leandra told her that Brayden and Carver had joined the King's army and were at Ostagar. She hoped that they had survived. Brayden was her first love and Alistair her second and now she was alone with only her friends to comfort her.


	2. Chapter 2

Nate was sitting in a chair by the hearth reading a letter from the Architect, while she was going over maps of the Vinmark Mountains and the areas surrounding Kirkwall. A messenger hawk had arrived early in the morning warning her of a new danger arising in that vicinity. It was cryptic but it was something to do with a powerful darkspawn that was imprisoned somewhere in that area. The Architect said that the wards around the prison were becoming weak and that they should go and investigate.

Nate had only returned from Kirkwall a few short weeks ago. He had lead a mission for Weisshaupt. He had returned with a remarkable story about how of he was rescued by a pair of rogues that were accompanied by an elven warrior with lyrium branded into his skin and a very timid elven mage that seemed to be afraid of her own shadow at times. They had saved his life and he was thankful. They had even invited him back to Kirkwall with them but he had to return back to Vigil's keep.

"So what do you think Nate, you up for another long trek to find a un-mapped warden prison in the middle of the Vinmark Mountains?"

"Whatever you say Raven. Who do you want to take with us?"

"Oghren and Velanna, we will set out tomorrow morning at dawn. Please make sure Oghren packs something other than ale to drink."

* * *

They could sense the darkspawn the moment they reached the chasm. Besides darkspawn she could sense at least one other warden and something else. The warden felt familiar but she wasn't sure, but she was sure that they were deep inside the chasm and from the edge she could see the elusive prison. There was dozens of dead carta members and brontos.

"What in the nug humper happened here?"

"Could you be any fouler dwarf?"

"You two enough, you two bicker like children and I am not your mother. Nate quit laughing I have had enough of this. Oghren you and Velanna are worse than Alistair and Morrigan."

"You are comparing me to that pike twirler?"

All she did was give him a look that made him shiver. Raven then turned on her heals and continued on to the prison. It didn't take long to realize that they were following a party and they had grey wardens with them. She could hear a voice in her head and the others with her told her they too could hear whispers. They all could feel something powerful above them that was drawing them to it. As they rounded a corner at the bottom of the tower they could hear an argument between some men.

"Anders control yourself don't let Justice do this."

"We should just kill the abomination and be done with this." That was all it took for Raven to take off running towards the group.

"Anders!" the mage turned around at his name. The glowing in the eyes was new for her but this was Anders she would never be afraid of him.

"Commander?"

"Justice! What have you and Anders done?" The glowing in his body faded, she had always had a calming effect on Justice and even with this new development it seemed that she had kept it. Anders approached her and her party he looked tired and a little worse for wear. "I am not here to take you back Anders, but why didn't you stay and tell me what you had done. I would have done anything to help you two you knew that... you are one of my dearest friends. This was a betrayal of my trust."

He just stood there in shock. He didn't know what to do. Nate and Oghren had come up to stand on either side of her to lend her support while Velanna just paced behind them.

"I am sorry Raven, I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I thought you might turn me over to the Templars or something worse."

"Raven, Raven Cousland?" that voice was so familiar but she could not place it but when the man came up next to Anders all it took was one look at his eyes and she knew who he was instantly. There was a slight stubble to his face and a new scar that cut through his right eyebrow but even with his hair pulled back she knew who this man was. He had been haunting her dreams for weeks and now she stood speechless.

"Hawke its good to see you again" Nate said as he rounded her to shake his hand. He had never seen Raven look so flustered in her life. Even as children she was so confident of herself. Could this be the boy he heard so much about the one from before Alistair, Fergus had told him about the summer before the massacre that his father had committed, he told him because he wanted Nate to try to help Raven to get over the King. It had taken awhile for him to trust Nate again and then to tell him of his sister's past came as a shock. It had taken her months to get over a boy that had saved her life and he hoped that it would take less time for Nate to help her if he knew how he did it the first time.

"Hawke you know the Hero of Fereldan and you never told me. I am hurt think of the stories I could have told with this information."

"Varric I knew her in another life. Raven you look as if you have seen a ghost."

"That is what I thought you were. I went to Lothering right before the hord destroyed it I saw your mother and Bethany, they told me you and Carver were at Ostagar. I thought the worst. I thought… … … I thought I never would see you again."

He could see tears running down her cheek. Things had changed her he could tell. Her confidence seemed to waver but she was still beautiful. She had new tattoos on her face in the shape of vines that surrounded her eyes and went down her cheeks. Her long hair was tied back in braids at the nape of her neck. "Raven…I am here." He couldn't control himself he reached out to her and took her into his arms. The others in their groups just looked at each other with slight confusion.

"Hawke. I think this should wait for a more appropriate time, maybe when we are done with this place."

"Fenris is right but what are you doing here?"

"That's a long story involving Warden business which I am not allowed to get into. Lets just say we are here to deal with a very powerful darkspawn that we believe to be at the top of this tower. "

"Commander the wards protecting this place are weakening and it is getting stronger. The whispers are becoming louder he wants out commander."

"Velanna is right; it is what caused Justice to take over and for us to attack Hawke."

"Okay how about we join forces Brayden and get out of here."

"That seems for the best since it requires my blood to get past the wards. My father set them up and I am not sure why."

* * *

It felt like hours before they reached and defeated an old Trevinter Magistrate that was also another talking darkspawn. They didn't talk much when they finally stopped to camp for the night and the next morning they decided to head back to Kirkwall since it was only a day out and they could all use the rest. The trek back to Kirkwall consisted of awkward glances and short sentence between her and Brayden. Anders fell right back into his place at her side with the constant banter between Oghren, Nate and himself even Varric seemed to join in which for Oghren was someone new to make fun of. Hairless surface nug seemed to be his favorite. Velanna was silent and she could swear she kept hearing the words abomination and mages being grumbled underneath Fenris's voice.


	3. Chapter 3

**I am sorry for how long this chapter is but it kinda got away from me. If you have any comments or reviews I would greatly appreciate it thanks guys.**

That first night for him was utter torture. Brayden sat across the fire from her and all he could do was stare. The mischief girl from his past was gone and in its place was a beautiful woman that looked hurt and confused. Watching her under his hooded cloak he couldn't help but be in awe of her. Watching her fight confirmed the subtle differences from the image of her that he had kept over the years. She now carried duel swords, both of exquisite make and enchanted with lightening and something else but he was not sure. He was sure that she still had the harness that hid her daggers under the hooded tunic that she wore over her armor. The tunic itself was beautiful it was made of some sort of silk that seem to flow around her when she moved, it shimmered between blues and violets but its base color was obviously black. Her armor fit her like a second skin it and was as black as raven wings but when the light hit it, it shimmered the green of her eyes the whole outfit made him think of raven feathers.

When they had first seen each other at the prison he was shocked, and while they fought through the hords of darkspawn and the few power hungry wardens he felt as if something or someone was missing from her side. He didn't realize it until they were on the surface again and she whistled, it only took a few moments and a rather large mabari with black war paint bounded up to her side, it was Shadow that she was missing her constant protector.

"Hawke you seem lost in thought and as much as you are trying to hide the fact that you are staring at Raven you are doing a very poor job of it."

"Anders, the mischief Commander that you always talked about, that's her isn't. It was Raven, she is the one you fell for even though …"

"Yeah she is. How do you know her?"

"One wonderful summer from the past and a kiss that has haunted me ever since." He said as he gazed across the fire at her. She seemed to be a sleep using Shadow as her pillow but he could tell she wasn't. And to confirm this she looked up under her hood and met his eyes with hers. The look he saw there made him speechless.

"Anders just so you know Shadow ate Sir-Pounce- a- lot." He laughed he could not help it nor could Varric who was sitting near Fenris because the look on Anders face was priceless and the horrified gasp was just adding to the moment.

"That mutt did what?" he began to rise and sparks were coming off his fingers. Everyone in the camp turned to look at her, her whole body was shaking from laughter and Oghren was yelling for sparklefingers to calm down. Nate had stood up and was slowly moving in front of her.

"Anders, I was just joking," it came out in a sputtered laughing voice, "you seem so sullen and mopy. Sir-Pounce-a-lot is fine. He is with Sigrun at the keep but I should warn you after you left you broke that poor ball of fur's little heart. He wouldn't leave you room for weeks, Shadow ended up becoming its mommy figure. I think the first time Oghren saw him being carried around in Shadow's mouth he nearly pissed himself."

"That was a sight, a ball of screaming, hissing fuzz being carried around the castle by something as big as that," he pointed at the sleeping war hound under his commander, "I could have sworn that dog looked absolutely content and I haven't seen them without each other since."

"So if you think you are getting him back you might have to fight her for him." Raven stated as she stroked behind Shadow's ears causing the sleeping beast to whine in contentment.

Brayden watched as everyone began to chuckle even as Anders rose to move next to the sleeping form of Shadow. The rest of the evening was uneventful and the trip to Kirkwall in the morning was a new form a torture for him. He didn't know what to talk about with her or even what to say. All of the feelings from that summer had returned. He had never forgotten her and he knew in many ways he still loved her. He had been with a few women since that summer but none that his heart could connect to. Isabella and him even had a go for a short time, but after their one and only night together she had told him that she could tell that there was someone else that held his heart and he needed to let go to move on.

* * *

She stood in awe at the Gallows when they had finally reached Kirkwall. In all her travels she had never seen something that felt so ominous. She couldn't comprehend what the mages here could be going through. Some of her closet friends were mages and they had saved her life more than once and she theirs in return. Brayden had taken them quickly through there and led them to a tavern called the Hanged Man.

"Varric has a room here he could arrange for you to stay here. But if you would like you could stay at the manor, my mother would love to see you again and I know there are a few others that would like to see you as well. Plus there is someone I would like you to meet." Something in her heart clenched at his last few words, she didn't know what it meant but she was afraid. "Raven it would please me if you stayed with my mother and I. There is more than enough room for everyone."

"If it's all the same Hawke I think I am going to stay here with Varric. I like that atmosphere." said Oghren.

"What he means is he likes the smell of ale and piss it makes him feel at home. Plus I think this is the soberest we have seen him... ever," Nate said. Nate had turned to look at Raven she still had not given Hawke a reply. She seemed a bit lost in thought so he looked around the Hanged Man. He had stayed here once before and he was sure he did not want to stay here again. He noticed that Fenris had followed Varric and Oghren to his room and that Anders had sneaked out the door to somewhere. When he realized that she wasn't going to respond to him he took it upon himself to answer and sway things in Hawke's favor. "I think the Commander would appreciate you hospitality. I know from previous experience that she would favor your manor over this establishment."

Raven snapped her head in Nate's direction after that was said. She didn't even notice the look of utter happiness on Brayden's face or the smirk that had formed on Nate's. Nate grabbed her arm and shuffled her out into the street so that they could follow Hawke to his home.

"Serrah Hawke. It is good to see you return safely, your mother is out with your Uncle Gamlen and should return before…" Bohdan had greeted Hawke in his usual manner but when he realized that he had company with him he turned to see who it was. He hadn't seen her since the coronation of King Alistair, but he knew it was her. She had a very distinctive walk, it was almost predatorial. "Warden Commander it is good to see you again, Sandal look who is here son."

"Bohdan, Sandal how are you guys?"

"We are wonderful Warden, Serrah Hawke saved my boy in the deep roads and now I work for him and his mother."

"Sounds about right."

"Puppy," Sandal said and started to walk over to Shadow but before he could reach her there was a large commotion from upstairs then a rather large mabari was bounding down the stairs heading in their direction.

"Goliath come here boy." Goliath ran right past Brayden's outstretched arms and right towards Shadow.

"Oh shit grab him Brayden" Raven was holding as tight as possible to Shadow, "Shadow is just coming out of heat. We have to keep them separate."

"Bohdan would you mine taking Goliath to the Barracks, Aveline won't mind, the new recruits could use the practice."

"Yes Serrah"

"Well I will show you to your rooms so you can get cleaned up, after diner I usually go to the Hanged Man to play cards with the rest of the gang. Raven after you get cleaned up I was hoping you would maybe meet me in the Library so we could get reacquainted. You already met Goliath he was the one I wanted to introduce you too. He usually is very sweet sooo... not the best impression for today I guess."

"Thank you Brayden. We only really need two rooms as much as Nate would like to protest Velanna would only sneak into his room late in the night. They just like to hide the fact that they are together even though everyone in the Keep knows," she called over her shoulder. Nate's face had turned a very unattractive shade of red while Velanna just went up and reached her arms around his waist.

"I told you they already knew, so no more hiding. As much as I like acting like a bitch all the time it is getting quite boring."

Brayden's heart had clenched when she said the only needed two rooms and then relaxed after the explanation. He couldn't help but laugh at Nate's face and the rest of the party in the entry hall joined in with him at Nate's expense. Brayden went and showed them their rooms and went to his to clean up.

* * *

She didn't know what to do. Her heart and head felt like it was on Tarrant when she was trying to break him. She was sitting in a bath and she could tell that Sandal had laid his expertise to it since the water was not getting cold but staying at the most perfect temperature. She had been dreaming about him for weeks and now here he was in front of her even more handsome then he was before. As she sat in the bath stalling on getting out and going down the stairs to talk to him she realized, since Fergus had given her the journals back, she had not thought about Alistair once. She had been dreaming almost every night about Brayden and she knew maybe this was a sign and she should be open to it. There was a knock at the door and it startled her out of her thoughts.

"Raven, Velanna and I are going to go explore the city for awhile we will possible see you at the Hanged Man after dinner. The next ship leaves in three days to Amaranthine and I have already booked us passage and Hawke said it would be find to stay here until it leaves."

"Thank you Nate." She knew that she was going to have to get out of the bath and go down stairs and talk to Brayden. She didn't have anything to change into except her armor so she went snooping through the armoire. She found a beautiful black and silver dress, it looked like it had never been worn and she hoped whoever it belonged to wouldn't mine her wearing it since the rest of the clothing looked like it would be too short for her to wear.

When she finally arrived in the Library he was pacing back and forth. She hadn't seen Bohdan or Sandal anywhere on her way down. She took a seat in one of the chairs near him and waited for him to notice her presence. After awhile she couldn't help but laugh at him, he was mumbling and so deep in thought that he jumped at her sudden appearance.

"I see your stealth skills have greatly improved."

"Well there was this assassin during the blight, he was an Antivian Crow sent to kill me. Obviously I changed his mind, and he became a great friend… how is your family?"

It took a few moments for him to respond. He had noticed the dress she was wearing; it was one that his mother had made for Bethany while they were in the deep roads. He knew his mother had brought her stuff and put it in a room in the estate. "Mother is better now that she has her family home back. It has been hard on her since the blight. Carver did not make it out of Lothering an ogre got him. Bethany died over a year ago during and expedition in the deep roads. It was a darkspawn attack and she… and she was tainted."

"I am so sorry Brayden I didn't know." She didn't realize that she had stood up and that her feet had carried her over to him. He seemed so distraught. "It wasn't your fault you shouldn't blame yourself."

"But it was. Mother asked me not to take her she didn't want to lose another child to darkspawn. I should have listened to her or taken Anders with me then maybe she would be alive."

"I have learned from experience not to hang on the what ifs or the should haves. For over a year after what Howe did to my family I was angry at myself thinking I could have done something else and they would be alive. It took finding Fergus alive and my friends that I gathered during the blight to make me see that what happened was not my fault and I had no control over the situation. You had no control over what happened to Bethany or to Carver do you really think that they would want you to blame yourself for their deaths?"

Brayden took a step closer and wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight embrace, "thank you… thank you Raven." He took a step back and looked down on her. He didn't remember her being this short but he had grown since that summer. He wasn't sure what took over him when he looked into those green eyes of her but he leaned the last few inches it took and kissed her soft supple lips.

She was shocked that he kissed her but she was more shocked on how her body was responding to him. He was pulling away before she knew it and she didn't want him to stop. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back to her lips.

That was all it took for him, he parted his lips and ran his tongue across her lower lip and when her lips parted he deepened the kiss. She gave a slight moan which excited him. His hand moved up her back to her head and tangles in her still damp hair. She had left it down and it was longer then the last time he had saw her. He felt her arms tighten around him then all of a sudden he felt her push him away.

"I am sorry I shouldn't have done that. You could be seeing someone. I am so stupid." He just looked at her shocked while she shook her head and covered her face with her hands. He could see tears starting to run down her tattooed checks. She kept trying to pull away from him and he wasn't going to have any of that.

"Rae my little black bird calm down please…" he was rubbing small circle on her lower back trying to sooth her. "Rae look at me please?"

He was calling to her, using the name that he used to call her during their summer together. His hand making circles on her back was starting to sooth her. She knew that the walls that she had built around her heart since Alistair and the ones that she had built for him were breaking. She didn't want to feel what she was feeling for him, she was terrified. She didn't want to know what he was going to say so she did the one thing she knew she could do to get away from him.

She took a step back and swept his legs out from under him. As he fell to the floor she turned and ran towards her room.


	4. Chapter 4

He was shocked. He could not believe that she just did that. She had caught him off guard and now he was on his back watching her run out of the library. His heart did not want to take this and anger began to grow, it took him only seconds to reach the door and see her dash up the stairs. Raven was faster then he remembered and a lot craftier. Her rogue skills had obviously improved to the point he was sure that she could beat him in a fight whether it was fair or not. He bounded up the stairs after her and before she could close the door he through the dagger from his boot into the jam so the door could not close, sure he could pick the lock but the stunned look on her face gave him more time to reach her.

"NO…you are not going to run away from me Rae. I will not lose you again." By then he had reached her door and managed to get his hand around her wrist. With a quick pull and turn he had her pinned against him. The only options she had to get away from him now he was praying she would not take.

"Please Bray let me go." She was pinned and she knew she couldn't get away without hurting him, and she knew her heart would not let her do that. "I can't do this… I can't, no I will not let myself be hurt again."

She was struggling against his chest and he could feel her body shaking it wasn't until he felt something wet hit his arm that he realized that she was still crying. "Please listen Rae, there is no one and there hasn't been anyone in a long time. I have thought about you all the time. I use to start letters to you but I knew you were to be with me your family would have never accepted me so I joined the King's army hoping to rise in the ranks so that I could be worthy of you. But then I heard about the massacre at Highever and everyone believed you to be dead with your entire family and I grieved for you. Then everything happened so fast my family and I were fleeing for our lives and when I finally found out you and your brother survived, the blight was over and you were a Hero. I had already started a life here, I was seeing someone and thought maybe she was the one but it took her to point out that there was someone else in my heart holding me back and that person was you. I just… I just didn't know what to do after that. I have made a name for myself here and with being part of the Amell line I am respected. Kirkwall is unstable right now with the Templars and Mages and also the Qunari and the people need me like Fereldan needed you during the blight. I had hoped once things had settled here I would be able to come find you I even had Isabella looking into things for me since she said she knew you."

She had stopped struggling and her shaking was subsiding. "Bray why me… why even bother I am broken."

Those words tore through him. What had happened to the strong confident girl that he knew in the woods of Lothering; the girl that ran head first into a spiders nest so she could get some venom to learn how to make poisons. He knew she was still inside somewhere he knew that in his heart and he would do everything in his power to show her once again. "My little bird," he said as he turned her around to face him, "you may have been hurt in the past but you are not broken. If you feel anything for me still... that is enough… that is enough to build on. You may be afraid to trust me and I have not given you much reason in the past too. I broke the promise that I made to you under the tree in the garden, but I was a stupid kid and I was scared because I loved you and was afraid that I was not worthy of you. I was a peasant and a rogue, and the promise to my father to keep my family safe was always there over my head. Please Rae let me fix my past mistakes, let me show you that you can trust me, let me love you once again."

The look in his eyes pierced her heart. Those crystal blue eyes were filled with love and a fierce need for understanding. She was afraid and he knew it, but what was she going to do. "Bray, I am not sure what I feel for you. Everything in my heart and head is so messed up right now. I need time please give me that. We have three days to get reacquainted with each other and then we can see where we go from there if that is okay with you."

He hugged her tight and laid a chaste kiss on her lips then released her. She stepped back from him and began to laugh ever so quietly as she looked at the doorway. Leandra was standing there looking at the dagger in the door jam. The look of shock on her face was priceless.

* * *

Leandra had heard raised voices from upstairs so she was going to see what it was all about since Bohdan, Sandal and Goliath all seemed to be missing. When she had reached the top landing she saw the open door from where she heard the voices which by then she identified at least one as her son who had finally returned home. But what was shocking was the dagger in the door jam glistening in the flickering light of the chandelier. She approached the room with caution and was in utter shock to see her son hugging a woman who was wearing a dress that she had made for her daughter.

The woman in her son's arms was a beautiful creature and she couldn't help but think that she had seen her before but she could not place her. She knew that she was not a noble of Kirkwall since she had meet most of the eligible daughters in hopes to find her son a wife even though he was thoroughly against the idea.

"Mother, I did not hear you return."

"Yes, I can see that," as she spoke she reached up and pulled the dagger from the jam and handed it back to her son, whom she could swear was blushing. "I see you have returned safely and with company as well." She surveyed the room and saw the pile of clean armor as well as two swords laid upon the chest at the end of the bed and a bow resting against the desk chair. There was also a pack thrown on the desk with various contents strewn across it.

"Mother you remember Lady Cousland."

"Hello Leandra it is a pleasure to see you again, my condolences on you losses."

"My dear none of that now, I have heard what happened to your family and what you have been through. It is an honor to have the Hero of Fereldan in our home. Maybe we should go down into the lounge, I would love to catch up and hear all the latest gossip from across the water."

"I would love too. But please the honor is mine for your son inviting my companions and I to stay with you for a short period and it is just plain old Raven if you please."

* * *

The rest of the evening was a whorl wind. Raven hadn't realized how much she missed her mother and Leandra was doing an excellent job at treating her like a daughter. She had told her she should keep the dress as it was meant for Bethany but she never had the chance to give it to her. The endless gossip had finished by the end of dinner when Brayden had told his mother that they were expected at the Hanged Man to meet up with the rest of her companions. The next day was filled with Leandra dotting on her and Brayden showing her around Kirkwall. The day before her companions and her were to depart on a ship heading back to Amaranthine a letter arrived from Vigils Keep while they were out on the Wounded Coast helping out Fenris.

"Something important my little bird?"

"Not really just an invite to a hunt being held at Chateau Haine in a week."

"The one being held by Duke Prosper?"

"Yes that would be the one, why?"

"Well I have to go help out a newly acquired friend with something there and since you have been invited I would love if you would join me as my date ."

"As your date maybe I could arrange that. I wouldn't have time to return to the Keep to get proper attire for the party but I feel that your mother would love to help me out with that. Let me write Sigrun and tell her what will be happening. I will send it back with Nate and Velanna. Nate will not like me attending without another warden present so I think Oghren will be staying in Kirkwall a bit longer. Maker help the Hanged Man."

"What you don't think Nate will think I am good enough to protect you." He said while wrapping his arms around her. He waited for her reply and looked into her eyes. He could tell she was thinking her words over carefully and the mischief that was forming in her green eyes was starting to make him wonder. He took a deep breath in and he could smell the familiar scents of leather and lavender underneath the blood from the slavers that they had dispatched while helping Fenris.

"Its not about protecting me it is more about protecting the other nobles from me. I do have a tendency to act first and think later which includes lets see breaking hands when they get a bit touchy feely, me voicing my opinion with force and there is the occasional killing."

He couldn't help but look at her and laugh. Thank the Maker the girl from the past was slowly returning, and with her going it meant that he was going to be able to spend more time with her and he loved that idea. "So I take that as a yes you will be going with me."

"Yes… I am the Hero of Fereldan, Commander of the Grey and the Arless of Amaranthine after all. I think Nate can handle things on the home front he is my second in command and I think I may be due a bit of a vacation. Plus I can just say that the hunt is I good way to increase relations with the Orlesian nobles."

"I like the way you think."


	5. Chapter 5

The next day was spent preparing for the hunt at the Chateau Haines. Leandra had taken her to her favorite dress maker to get an appropriate outfit for her for the party. She was pretty sure Leandra had picked it out more for Brayden's benefit then it being appropriate for the Orlesian nobles. She spent some time wandering the markets of Hightown and Lowtown trying to find supplies to refill her poisons and bombs. She had arranged for a carriage and a wagon to take them to the chateau since she did not know how many people were going. She could hear her mother in her head how it would be improper for a person of her station to arrive on foot so she figure it would be best to help with the charade and it would be quicker.

It was late in the afternoon so she decided to head to Darktown to check in on Anders. Brayden was off for the day getting supplies for himself and informing which companions he wanted to take with them. She was still unsure of whom he was choosing but that did not bother her. She had Shadow and Oghren, with the changes that were becoming more noticeable from the concoction that Avernus had made; she probably could do more damage then was necessary to anyone that came against her. When she approached the clinic she saw that the doors were closed but she could hear voices inside. With her heighten senses she could hear the conversation that Anders was having and she was pretty sure it was with Brayden. She knew it to be wrong but curiosity always got the best of her so she pulled the shadow around her and listened.

"Anders what happened to her, who damaged her so much that when I feel as if we are getting close she pulls away. She tries to hide the fact that she flinches whenever I try to hold her. I have seen glimmers of the girl she use to be but I feel if someone took her confidence and smited it. Maker's breathe who could do that to her, my little bird is lost in her own head and her heart behind a locked door that has so many locks on it I am having a hard time picking them all."

"Hawke, this is not my story to tell but I will because she deserves to be happy. And know that I don't do this only for you because you are a friend but because I still care for her deeply. During the blight she fell for her fellow warden, you know him as Alistair King of Fereldan. He betrayed her more deeply than anyone ever could. They were engaged and after his coronation, his advisors told him that he should find a more suitable wife; I will not tell you the reasons behind that request that is for her to tell you. What Alistair did next was cruel he called off the engagement and then had the nerve I was told to ask her to stay at the palace with him and be his mistress. To say she was angry was an understatement she. She told him off and was set to leave to Weisshaupt, but before she could leave he called the court and appointed her Warden of the Grey and Arless of Amaranthine. I feel he did it so he could keep her close and still have some control over her. Wardens do not keep their titles one they are inducted but I guess being King is good. The pike twirler as Oghren calls him would show up at Vigil's Keep to check in on her and the new warden command post, He invited her to his wedding to some noble that was picked for him. She got back at him for that by bringing Nate as her date and Oghren for kicks. Trust me when I say that the girl you love is still in there. I have seen her, it took time for her to come back I am not sure what has happened in the last few years since I have been here. She is happy though both Nate and Oghren said that they haven't seen her this happy in a long while."

Brayden had been silent the entire time that Anders had spoken. The silence was deafening while she waited to see if he was going to speak. "So what you are saying is give her more time… and show her that she can trust me."

"Yes, she will come around… she spoke of you once. We had all been drink in the great hall Oghren and Zevran were showing us their circus act, and Zevran pulled her on to the table with them. Nate noticed how she winced so he asked her if she was okay. Zevran looked at her and apologized for forgetting about the new tattoo that he had given her. I will have to admit I had seen some of them healing her, she has quite a collection. I finally had the courage to ask her what one of them was and what it meant. She told me it was a hawk and it represented her first love, a boy that had saved her life once."

She was going to kill Anders for that one at least he didn't tell him were it was. She heard someone moving towards the door so she moved around the corner so she would not be detected. "Thank you Anders. See you tomorrow morning we will be leaving after breakfast you should join us before so we can all leave together. It's just you and Sebastian with us."

"See you tomorrow Hawke."

She watched as Brayden exited the clinic then waited a few minutes before she confronted Anders.

"Raven, before you say anything he deserved to know and he deserves to know the rest." His back was turned to her so he dint notice her taking one of the pillows from the cots and throwing it at his head. "Andraste's sweet knickers what was that for?"

"Because you are right and you know how I loath to be wrong. Anders what am I suppose to do? I know he loves me but…"

"But what? I couldn't be what you needed to repair the damage that was done to you. Believe me I wanted to be who you needed and in some ways I still do but it would have never worked especially now. I see that now. Your heart has so much love in it for your friends and for complete strangers but you need to be able to let someone love you and you need to let go of the past so you can love them in return you deserve to be happy. You have no idea how much Justice wanted well more like still wants to hurt Alistair for the injustices he caused you. All of your companions from the blight and the ones you made at Vigils keep hate what that man did to you."

"I can't get hurt again there will be nothing left but an empty shell if that happens."

Anders began to shimmer blue and a deeper voice could be heard coming from him. "Commander I have seen Hawke the way he treats others. He aids us in our fight and through everything he does not enjoy seeing the hurt and suffering of others. He is an honorable man he would not hurt you of this I am certain."

"Thank you Justice but could I have Anders back this whole Justice Anders thing still is a bit creepy. I understand why the two of you did it and I am glad to have both of my friends still alive."

"Sorry about that but he does have a point. Hawke will not hurt you. He had been here for almost an hour before you showed up and listened in. He was pacing back and forth almost the whole time muttering different things about you and him and how he felt about you. It took a stasis prison to get him to stop and actually talk. I think I might pay for that one later once he realizes what I did."

"Maker Anders, don't come running to me for help with that one. Thank you for making me see what is in front of me."

"You're welcome, now I have a question for you, what else has changed? Your speed and strength have increased tremendously, you also seemed to heal faster and it takes less magic to heal your wounds. Have you gone back to Soldier's Keep and talked to Avernus about this?"

"He said it was to be expected. My senses are also heightening, he still doesn't know about my lifespan but what he has seen in my blood is that the taint seems to be working with me not fighting me anymore. He compares it to the symbiosis of some organisms. He thinks that I will live a normal life and he feels that if I ever try to have children that I would be successful but that there is a significant chance that I will pass some of my warden traits along as well. It is getting close to dinner and Leandra and he will be waiting for me, I should go."

"Raven no more lurking around outside you will scare away my patients."

"The only reason you knew I was out there was because you are a warden. I had a rat run over my foot, gross by the way, and a few thugs talk in front of me and didn't even notice."

* * *

When Brayden returned Bohdan had told him that his mother had gone out and that the carriage that Lady Cousland had ordered would be there tomorrow at dawn to prepare for their departure.

"Bohdan where is Raven?"

"She returned with your mother for lunch then left to gather supplies for her and warden Oghren. She said she would return before dinner. Is there anything else I could help you with Serrah?"

"No but I need Sandal's help."

"Enchantment"

"Yes Enchantment" he produced a silver necklace with a silver and onyx locket on it. The stone had a raven carved on in it. He handed it to Sandal and told him that he wanted him to put a protection charm on it because he was going to give it to Raven. He had commissioned it to be made for her the day that they got back from the Vinmarks; he hoped she would like it.

"Enchantment," Sandal took the necklace and began to work on it. Brayden turned to Bohdan and asked him to place it in his room when Sandal was done so that Raven wouldn't find out.

Since it seemed that Raven had taken care of their travel arrangements he retired to the study to review the numerous letters from the nobles and the viscount that had accumulated on his desk. He didn't have to wait long until he heard a knock on the door and Raven entered.

"Rae you don't need to knock, gave you free reign of the household the moment you set foot into my home." He hoped one day it would be their home.

"Sorry it is just habit, I never knew what I would find on the other side of the door lately at the Keep and in Highever. Trust me walking in on your brother teaches you to knock first." She was smiling and that made his heart warm.

He turned in his chair to face her and asked "So what did you do while you were out?"

"I just needed talk to Oghren and get some supplies to refill what we used."

"You probably could have ordered most of them from here. It helps to have friends in low places. I probably could have just added it to the orders that I had made."

"Bray, I don't need you buy me things and take care of me. I know you want to and believe me when I say that I am trying to let you but with everything that has happened to me and everything that I have become I am scared. I am scared to let someone love me again, but I am trying because… because it is you. You were my first love and for more than awhile memories of our past have been haunting my dreams, ever since Fergus sent me my journals. I know Anders told you part of the reason I am the way I am now but there is more and I am afraid it may change the way you feel about me and I don't want to be hurt again."

"Rae, my dearest little bird nothing you can tell me will change the way I feel about you. You need to know that first and foremost that I still love you and that I will love you no matter what."

"There are some things that are too hard to explain right now because I still don't have all the answers about them but what I can tell you is the reason for Alistair's decision. It is very rare for a Grey Warden to have a child and for two Grey Wardens it would be next to impossible. Wardens also have shortened life spans do to the taint in our blood so a need for an heir was apparent. So when his advisors found out about this they told him he should marry someone that had a better chance of giving him an heir, so he left me. He wanted to keep me around and it made me feel as if I was just some whore he could use at his whim. He was never like that before, the night before the battle with the Archdemon changed him and that was my fault but it is not only my secrets to share, so, please don't ask. So he kept me as close as he could by giving me the Arling of Amaranthine. I perform my duties as any good citizen and I stay away from politics I only ever return to Denerim during Landsmeets and I told him that he had no official capacity over the wardens or my decisions with them so that has kept him away from the Keep which I am thankful for. Our companions from the blight are loyal to me and no longer to him they only follow his commands as King but that is it."

"Rae I am sorry for what happened to you and what you had to become to survive. Nothing you have told me has changed my feelings." He had risen from his chair and stood in front of her. He had placed a hand on her shoulder and one under her chin so he could look into her eyes. "I know my mother would love for me to have children but if it's not in the cards for me because of the woman I love then I don't care as long as I get to be with her. But believe me it will not be for the lack of trying." He watched as her eyes changed from sorrow to hope it was all he needed. He knew that she was doing her best to open up to him and he wasn't going to push anymore. It had surprised him when she placed her arms around him and gave him a quick kiss on his lips before placing her head on his chest. He just stood there and held her until Bohdan knocked on the door to announce that dinner was ready. It wasn't much but it was something and he knew that he was finally able to pick one of the many locks that protected her heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Any reviews would be most welcome. I hope you all enjoy.**

Morning had not yet come and Raven was awake and felt as if she had not slept. Her dreams were filled with visions of her being abandoned and alone. She was calling out for help but no one answered. She watched as her companion head left her for their callings and the worst one was watching Brayden walking away from her then turning to ash and dust. She didn't know what to make of them but she knew the best way to clear her head was to go out to the courtyard and practice. The house was still asleep so she knew she wouldn't be disturbed for some time. The courtyard had been setup as a practice ring. There were dummies and targets on one side and a ring in the middle for sparring. She was sure Leandra probably had a fit when Brayden had set this up. She started with her normal stretching and then practice a few forms that Zevran had taught her then moved into her own battle style Choream Gemina Pugionibus which incorporated her dueling and assassin skills mixed in with her past rogue training. The morning sun started to peer of the garden wall and she could hear people stirring in the house but her unease had not left her so she continued. She knew that she had gathered a crowd, first it was Brayden who tried to be stealthy but failed then she heard Anders and Oghren enter the courtyard with their usual banter. Leandra and another male had entered and she could hear Bohdan and Sandal near the kitchen.

"She has gotten faster."

"Well what do you expect Sparkle Fingers, she is a warden and after the pike twirler and you left she has had a lot of spare time to practice."

"I know but that is almost unnatural. I would say she was possessed if I didn't know better."

"Well you would know wouldn't ya. Especially now that you go all blue and sparky."

"At least I don't smell like a brewery and bronto shit."

"Please tell me that my boys are not going to be like this the whole trip?"Raven said as she finshed her last form. Sweat was glistening all over her body all she had on were a pair of loose cotton pants and a loose sleeveless tunic with a sash wrapped around her waist.

"Who are you calling boys." Both Oghren and Anders replied.

Brayden had walked over to Raven by that time and handed her a towel. Leandra watched the exchange between them. She had watched her during her workout but was quickly drawn to looking at her son's admiration of the woman in front of her. She love and hope on her son's face and she was happy. Leandra had truly missed the carefree boy she raised in Ferelden.

"The wagon and carriage are here and are being loaded Varric is meeting us outside of Kirkwall with our new friend Tallis. I figured Anders could round out the Warden party and this is Sebastian Vael he will also be joining us. You have time to get cleaned up and eat if you want before we leave it should be about another hour or so before we are already."

"Thank you Brayden." Raven thought she had recognized the name Sebastian Vael and she gave him a once over before he approached her.

"It is an honor to meet the Hero of Ferelden." The familiar brogue was all it took and she was laughing quietly to herself. "My lady is something wrong?"

"Sebastian Vael Prince of Starkhaven am I correct to assume?"

"Yes my lady."

" It is so nice to see you fully clothed for a change. I believe the only other time during my families visit was when your grandfather was training me in archery and you tried your best to out shot me. If I remember correctly you lost a bet with my brother and there was a pond involved but I also believe I walked in on you with my maid." Brayden, Anders and Sebastian's faces were filled with shock at her statement but Sebastian's quickly turned into embarrassment as pieces began to fall together.

"Little Raven Cousland. I must apologize for my youthful rakish ways. I was sorry to hear of the tragedies that fell your family."

"And I yours but Fergus will be glad to hear that you survived. If ever you need help taking back your lands I know my Arling and the Teryn of Highever would aid you in your quest and I will put a good word into the King for you."

"Thank you, my grandfather survived the attack he was here visiting the chantry, thank the Maker."

"I would love to hear how you became a Brother of the Faith but I should go and gather my things, we can talk on the way to the Chateau."

"As you wish."

* * *

The trip to the Chateau was uneventful. The heavily armed party met no confrontations along the way. The idea chatter was all there was to occupy Raven's mind. There was Anders and Sebastian's conversation leaving Kirkwall;

"Is that supposed to be Andraste's face on your crotch?" Anders asked Sebastian.

"What?"

"That... belt buckle thing. Is that Andraste?"

" My father had this armor commissioned when I took my vows as a brother."

" I'm just not sure I'd want the Maker seeing me shove His bride's head between my legs every morning."

Then there was the conversation he had with Varric around the campfire the third night.

" Boiling in oil."

" Too prosaic. Trapped in a cave with hungry bears, right at the spring thaw." Varric responded.

" That lets him off too easy. Dipped in molten gold and left as a statue in the Viscount's Keep."

" Ooh. That's poetic!"

"What are you two talking about?" Brayden asked.

" What to do to Bartrand when I find him." Varric said with a smirk.

" Any suggestions?" Anders asked Hawke.

And the best one was between Oghren and him it reminded her of days at Vigil's Keep and the way things were.

" You don't actually think your jokes are funny, do you?"

" Could have sworn that fly was buzzing again." Oghren replied while batting his hand in the air.

"HAR! Let me tell you about my life in one word!" then Anders let out a loud disgusting belch

"Oh no! Don't take me back to the tower! I'm far, far too delicate!"

"I'm not only a dwarf, I'm a moron! Listen to me fart!"

"Oh no, big templar man! What are you going to do with that sword?"

"Eww." Anders said with a look of disgust on his face.

" Don't play with fire unless you want to get burn."

By the time they reached the Chateau she could not be happier. They made camp in a common area set out by the Duke and prepared for the hunt that was happening the next morning. The Duke made small talk with herself, Brayden and Sebastian and explained the rules of the hunt. The first to bring down a wyvern wins. They returned to their group and for the evening. They had setup two rather large Pavilion tents to accommodate the group and to make the charade believable. Tallis was acting as her ladies maid and Oghren and Anders were playing Warden guards. Brayden, Sebastian and Varric were staying in the second tent. Upon returning to the tents Sebastian had said "Last wyvern hunt I was on, my mother caught me sneaking off with the kennel master's girl. Took my bow away for a week," which made them laugh. Brayden was learning that he wasn't always the good chantry boy that he made himself out to be.

* * *

The hunt went off with only a few minor hitches. After being attacked by ghasts and a sky horror, helping find a lost mabari and watching Tallis make an utter fool of herself they had to deal with a disgruntle Baron Arlange and his cronies after killing the biggest wyvern they had ever seen. After the Duke had arrived and congratulated them they returned to their tents to get ready for the party and to help Tallis who seemed to be keeping details to herself about the real reason they were there.

It was going to only be Hawke and Tallis breaking into the Chateau. Raven was going to play decoy and keep the Duke busy while the rest of their companion scouted around the Chateau trying to find a secondary point of entry. Tallis and Brayden had been mingling with nobles trying to find a way in with no success as of yet when they heard a collective gasp from the nobles around them and a excited Orlesian woman squeal "You came" as she ran over to the courtyard stairs. Brayden turned to see what all the commotion was about and what he saw took his breath away.

Raven stood there in a sleeveless black silk dress with a purple corset. She had silver cuffs on each of her wrists and her hair was pulled up into an intricate knot with blue and purple ribbons hanging down. What stood out the most was the tattoo that wrapped around her upper right arm to disappear onto her back. It looked to be a tail with scales.

"Leli, what are you doing here. Is Fergus with you?"

"No, he is still in Highever entertaining Alistair, I am here on other business."

"Always the bard, why is Alistair in Highever?"

"He went to Vigil's keep looking for you for some reason he would not say and Sigrun told him that you had gone to visit your brother but that you may have already left from there to come here but she was not sure."

"I see, always the rogue that one."

"I think she does it just to piss him off and send him on a wild Raven chase. You have been gone for quite some time and I never dreamed that you would have actually shown up here. Politics is not exactly your strong suit dear one. What have you been up to?"

"Raven my dear you look... you look breath taking." Brayden had come up alongside of her ad she was speaking to the Orlesian woman.

"Leli, this is Brayden Hawke from Kirkwall, a very old friend. Brayden this is Leliana Cousland. She traveled with me during the blight and then captured my brother's heart."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Leliana, but I must disappoint you by stealing our fair Raven away for a moment Duke Prosper requested our presence for an announcement and then I promise to return her."

"Take your time Serrah Hawke, I can see that she is in well hands." Leliana chuckled as turned away from the couple she could not wait to return to Highever to tell Raven's brother what she had witness. The moment that Hawke had approached them she say her long time friend's eyes light up and a look on her face that she had not seen since late nights around the campfire watching Raven and Alistair talk. She had a feeling and also hoped that she might be losing her friend to the people of Kirkwall very soon.

"Rae that dress leaves little to the imagination and I have the urge to steal you away back to my tent then to bring you to see the Duke."

Raven hadn't felt this confident about herself in a long time and she decided she was going to run with it. "And Serrah what would you do with me in said tent?"

"First I would take the time to kiss every inch of your exposed skin." He whispered in her ear as he finally got to a close up look at her visible tattoo. It was of the Archdemon and a griffon battling. There were names worked into the griffon's wings. Her left shoulder had claw marks from the griffon and the tail seemed to wrap around her left arm like the tail of the Archdemon did her right. It was beautiful and very detailed it must have taken days to do. "When I was satisfied with that I would discover the treasures you are trying to hide underneath this dress. I would bring you such pleasure that you would never want to leave my side again."

His breath on her neck and words in her ear had her melting into his side. If it was not for his arm around her waist she was sure that her knees would have given out and she would be on the floor. The delicious shiver that had ran up her spine was starting to settle in to a burning desire in her core. "Serrah … if you continue to speak of such things you will never be able to help Tallis and…" She brought herself up onto her toes to whisper in his ear "you will never find me in your bed for you broke a promise to another." She figured two could play at that game.

"So does this mean if I finish aiding Tallis that I will find you in my bed my little bird?"

"Maybe if you are lucky and you keep your promises."

"Oh I most defiantly will my love… I most defiantly will."


	7. Chapter 7

After being introduced to everyone by the Duke and being awarded a trophy for the Wyvern, Raven was left to fend for herself as Hawke and Tallis searched for entrance into the Chateau. She was lucky to avoid the wandering hands of Lord Cyril the Duke's son but couldn't avoid Arless Isolde and Bann Teagan once they knew she was there. How she wished that they would have let her bring Shadow in or at least Oghren then everyone would have hopeful left her alone to search out Leliana again.

"It is a pleasure to see you Warden Commander."

"Bann Teagan, Arless Isolde the pleasure is mine. What brings you here to the hunt?"

"Duke Prosper is a distant relative and he always invites me and Teagan graciously decided to come along since Eamon is at the palace while King Alistair I was to assume was visiting you at Vigil's Keep."

"Well as you can see I am most defiantly not there and have not been there for weeks. Warden business took me to the Vinmarks then we ended up in Kirkwall where I received the Duke's invitation and I felt the need to increase our relations with the Orlesian Nobles for the wardens and the arling's sake."

"The King must be unpleased at not seeing you or hearing about your departure."

"Well yes I believe he even went to Highever looking for me but I believe Sigrun told him about the party here and when Nathaniel returns to the Keep he was informed to tell the King that my stay in Kirkwall will be extended for a few more days before I return. I ran into some old family friends there that had escaped the blight. The Amell family have asked me to stay a while and since there is still some warden business to take care of I accepted there invitation."

"The Amell family was once very well respected in Kirkwall, but it seems that you came with Serrah Hawke." Isolde stated.

"Well we did bring down an alpha wyvern together but we did not come together. He and Sebastian Vael Prince of Starkhaven were traveling together and the Couslands and Vaels use to be very close allies. I couldn't help myself to join with them when Sebastian asked my brother was a very good friend of his and after hearing what happen to his family I couldn't say no." She didn't like court for a reason and she most defiantly did not like Isolde. She was a gossip and she was determined not to give the woman anything to gossip about. "If you would excuse me it seems that my sister-in-law requires my attention."

"It was a pleasure as always Warden Commander."

"As always Bann Teagan, Arless." With that said she was free to return to Leliana's side.

"Rae I see the vultures are lurking. Maker's breathe does that woman ever leave you alone?"

"Not since the Conner incident and it could be due to the fact a yelled at her about the way she treated Alistair."

"Dear one I am sorry."

"Leli its okay I haven't thought about him for months and in all honesty I am doing great I am happy again."

"It wouldn't have to do with Hawke would it?"

"Maybe"

"For only being gone a short time I doubt you fell in love that fast so by Andraste's Grace spill little sister or I will tell Fergus about the incident at the Pearl."

"You wouldn't… … …. yes you would. I thought Bards were suppose to keep secrets. I meet Brayden the summer before the blight, he was my first love. We meet in the forests around Lothering when he saved me after Tarrant threw me from the saddle thanks to a wolf. He was the one I was looking for when we were there, I even left him a message at the tavern before we left, but he never got it. I ran into him again in the Vinmarks when we were looking into reports about a hidden warden prison and darkspawn attacks. He asked me to stay with him and his mother in Kirkwall while we waited for the ship to depart and then the invitation arrived and here we are."

"Rae I haven't seen you this happy in years and the way that man looks at you… it is like you are his whole life. If he asks you to stay in Kirkwall with him I truly hope you consider it. Nate is a good man and he can take care of the wardens everything you have been through you deserve some happiness."

"Thanks Leli, I have really missed you. My brother doesn't deserve you, you know."

"Yeah but I love him."

"If I left would you take care of him for me?"

"You needn't have to ask that of me. Take care of yourself for once and seek out your one happiness let others deal with the rest." They just stood there for a while around the fountain enjoying the party and each other company until "Rae there is a dwarf over there that seems to want you, and it is late."

"Thanks Leli."

"Goodnight Rae."

"Varric, something wrong?"

"Hawke hasn't returned yet so I sent Anders and Sebastian to see if they can find him. Oghren is passed out in your tent. He was yelling something about pants and falling into the sky before he went down."

"That's about right when it comes to him. I think maybe we should get packed up just in case we have to leave in a hurry. If they are not back by the time we are down packing we can go look for him."

"So you going to tell me some stories about being the Hero of Fereldan and Hawke while we pack?"

"Nope"

"Aghhh you're just as bad as Hawke. I will tell you about the time that we stopped a crazy elf that planted poisons gas in Lowtown with just a feather and Goliath's tail."

"Bray all ready warned me about you, so I am not going to believe it."

"You are no fun Warden."

* * *

They still hadn't returned and by the time they found them they were leaving the dungeons. Anders and Sebastian had gotten lost and Tallis and Brayden had got sick of waiting for them. They ended up killing the Qunari and Duke Prosper and his pet Wyvern and fled back to Kirkwall. Oghren and Varric left them at the gates to return to the Hanged Man and Anders disappeared to his clinic. Sebastian walked them to Hawke's estate before returning to the Chantry. Upon entering the estate she was immediately descended upon my Bohdan.

* * *

"Warden a letter arrived this morning from the King it was addressed to you in care of the Amell family."

"Andraste's flaming knickers what in Maker's breathe does he want that he has to search me out here." Both Bohdan and Brayden were taken back by her statement as they watched her tear into her letter. "That damn bastard pike twirler has summoned me back to the keep, and he has already sent a ship to retrieve us it should arrive sometime tomorrow. Bohdan do you think you could go tell Oghren that we will be leaving tomorrow once the ship has arrived. I am sorry Brayden but I have to go my duty requires it of me."

"Rae I understand." He reached out to her and guided her into the library. "I know it is late and we are both tired and need a bath but will you do one thing for me tonight."

"It depends on what this one thing is my dearest rogue."

"Will you think about coming back here after meeting with the king and staying with me?"

"Brayden I don't have to think about anything…" Brayden's heart fell this was not how he had hoped this would go and he couldn't look into her eyes. He released her hands from his and began to walk away when she began to laugh. "You know you really shouldn't assume the worst all the time Bray and before you leave let me finish what I was going to say. I don't have to think about anything because the answer is yes I will return to stay with you, on two conditions. First you come to the keep with me tomorrow and second you leave me this night to put some things in order."

Brayden turned and swept her up into her arms and kissed her, he only stopped to say yes and to place her back on her feet before he kissed her again this time more passionately then the first. He put all his love, hope and happiness into that kiss before he pulled away out of need of air.

"Now off with you go tell your friends you are leaving tomorrow and ask whoever you want to join us. I am going to take a quick bath and then I was hoping to use the study for awhile. I need to write some letters and have them sent off before we leave or plans will not happen the way we want them."

"You do know my love that I kept and fulfilled my promises at the Chateau, I do believe you owe me something."

"Brayden, I need to take care of things tonight and confront him to lay the past behind me, and then I promise I will be yours. I love you."

He watched her as she left to her room the locks that blocked him from her heart were almost gone. Their seemed to be only one left and it was one that she had to unlock herself and he knew that was why she had to see the Alistair again and then she would be his once more. He left to go find Fenris and Isabella to see if they would accompany him to Fereldan and to go to the barracks to pick up Goliath because he didn't know what he would be walking into.

* * *

After her bath, Raven went down stairs to write her letters the first was to her brother and Leliana telling them of her decision to stay in Kirkwall and to meet her at the keep so Fergus could meet Hawke and that they could visit before she left. The second was to Weisshaupt resigning her post and naming Nathaniel Commander of the Grey and since the Arling was given to the Wardens he was now to become Arl of Amaranthine as well. The First Warden was already suspicious of her for surviving the Archdemon's death and she knew that this would make him happy. The last letter was to Avernus requesting to see him again. With her letters done she made her way back to her room to pack her belongings. She heard Brayden return before long and heard him speak with Bohdan and his mother before coming to her room and kissing her goodnight.

Sleep seemed that it did not want to come to her that night. Alistair's letter was in the fore front of her mind and her anger towards him was slowly growing causing the demons of her mind to run wild. Shadow lay next to her on the bed looking at her with concern and it seemed the Goliath had decided that she was better company then Brayden and lay at the foot of the bed as well. After a few more minutes she decided since sleep wasn't coming to her that she would sneak into Brayden's room in hopes that he would be able to keep the demons at bay. She got up and the two mabaris followed her across the hall to his room. His door was open due to Goliath's rooming since Shadow was here, so she quietly let herself in. He was already asleep and she could see the steady rise and fall of his bare chest as he breathed. Goliath had already jumped up onto the pillowed chest at the end of his bed while she was moving closer. He didn't even move until she was lifting the covers of his bed.

"What are you doing little bird?"

"I couldn't sleep so I was hoping you could keep your hands to yourself for one night and let me sleep in here with you?" He moved over to allow her room to crawl next him. Once she was in bed he patted the space in front of her and Shadow jumped on the bed as well. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her snug into his chest and kissed her forehead.

"I love you little bird, your safe with me."

"I love you too." Not long after they were both fast asleep.


	8. Chapter 8

It was mid morning and Hawke and the Warden had not come downstairs yet and Bohdan was worried. He had already received word that the ship for the Warden Commander had entered the harbor and he knew that she would not want to keep it waiting. The Warden and Hawke's luggage were already in the entry way and Oghren, Isabella and Fenris were in the kitchen eating breakfast. He decided he had no other option but to go upstairs and wake them up. He went to the Warden's room first but she was not there, so he crossed the hall to Hawke's. The door was left open so he quietly knocked and looked. He was met with both Goliath and Shadow glaring him down from the other side of the door blocking entrance into the room. He could see both Hawke and the Warden asleep in the bed, and he valued his life to much to try and get past the two mabaris. So he backed out of the room and went downstairs to see if one of Hawke's companions could wake them up.

"Hey Bohdan where is the Commander? If that ship in the harbor is kept waiting that bastard pike twirler is going to be pissed."

"Serrah Oghren would you like to go wake them? I could not get past Shadow and Goliath."

"Hee, hee, hee this is going to be fun. Pay back for all the times she stole my flask and the stories she told Felsi. Come on Bella I am going to need your help."

"Its your life dwarf."

"You aren't going to be all brood and against this entire trip are you. You really need to un bunch those knickers of your and have some fun."

Oghren knew exactly how to get the Commander up he had done it plenty of time. it was the only reason he cared those damned mabari crunches around he only hoped that Goliath would follow Shadow's lead.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" Isabella asked as she watched the dwarf grab something out of one of his pouches.

"Well you see here we throw these on the bed then run like hell." He chuckled as he handed her a handful of the dog treats.

"I like the way you think."

It was a few minutes later before Bohdan heard barking, screaming, Hawke yelling "Makers balls" and the Warden yell "OGHREN." Who had just returned to the kitchen with a hysterical Isabella in tow.

"What did you do?" Bohdan asked.

"Well remember all the times you sold me those damn crunches back in camp and what I did with them?" Oghren could not help laughing at Bohdan's face.

A half-hour later Raven came storming into the kitchen with Hawke in tow and grabbed Oghren by the beard. "By Andraste's arse you are going to pay for that one. I think it is high time Felsi learns about Velanna's little remedy. Hmm maybe about that incident with you playing diamond back with Sigrun and the others as well."

"Woman that is just plain mean."

"I could always mention to Nate that he should let them move to the keep." With that she turned on her heels and went to grab her pack to head towards the ship. "See you on the ship."

* * *

The ship ride back to Amaranthine was uneventful. She had bunked with Isabella and had caught her up on Fereldan politics and intrigue. By the time they reached the keep she was already in a state of frustration. Sigrun and Nate meet her at the gate and filled her in on the Keeps business and that a letter had arrived from Weisshaupt for her eyes only. She had to excuse herself from Hawke, Fenris and Isabella when a scout arrived and announced the King was an hour out.

"Sigrun could show Fenris and Isabella to the guest quarters. Nate could show Hawke to the room next to mine. I will be in my office if I am needed."

"Raven are you alright?"

"I am fine Brayden, I need to take care of some business before the King arrives. You have free run of the Keep I will see you at dinner in the great hall." She hated the fact that she sounded cold and indifferent towards him but her commander mask had fallen make into place, it was the only way she was going to be able to get thru this day.

Seneschal Varel was waiting for her in her office.

"Raven I hope your journey was pleasant. I will not take up much of your time since I believe that Warden Howe and Sigrun have filled you in on everything dually important for the time being. Teryn Cousland and Lady Leliana will be arriving sometime late this afternoon as per your request and I have taken the liberty of packing the essentials for your trip to Soldier's Peak so you can leave when you are ready."

"Varel could you acquire suitable mounts for my three guests as well?"

"Yes my Lady. Shall I send the King here when he arrives?"

"No, inform me and I will meet him in the audience chambers. I want this to be as formal as possible. Could you have one of the maids lay out a dress for me I will be there shortly to change and could you have Warden Howe dress in his warden armor and meet me in the audience chambers as well. Tell Fergus and Leli that I will see them at dinner and that I will be busy with warden business until then. Thank you Varel."

"As you wish my lady." Varel retreated from the office and she took up the letter from Weisshaupt to read. It was exactly what she had hoped for with a few added additions that made it worth even more. She left her office to get cleaned up and change before heading down to the audience chambers.

* * *

Nate was waiting for her when she arrived and had been seated only a few moments before she heard Alistair out in the hall. The doors swung open and in he entered in all of his golden glory along with a few of his personal guards.

"Where have you been? I came to see how the Arling was fairing and the Arless was nowhere to be found. Your wardens tell me you are in Highever but you may have gone to some party in Orlais. If it wasn't for Bann Teagan telling me he saw in Orlais I would have not believed it."

"I apologize your Majesty that I was not here to greet you upon your visit but Warden business took me to away."

"When does a party become Warden business?"

"Your Majesty I did not receive the invitation to the hunt until I was awaiting a ship in Kirkwall to return here. I then figured since I was already close that it would be looked down upon to refuse the Duke's invitation. I must apologize for any inconvence that must have caused you your Majesty."

"Enough with your Majesty Raven, it is Alistair and you know that. I would like to speak with you about the Arling could we go somewhere more private please?"

"If you need to speak about the Arling than you should be speaking to Arl Howe as I have just been informed of my reassignment by the First Warden. " She took out the letter she received and handed it to Alistair. "As you can see he has named Warden Howe as my replacement so Nathaniel is no Warden Commander and the Arling falls to him to take care of as you in trusted it to the wardens care. I shall be taking my leave shortly once arrangements have been made for me to take up my new posting as Warden Liaison to the Free Marches. Congratulation Warden Commander Howe on your promotion." The look on the two men's faces was enough to make her smirk. Nate's was filled with shock and understanding while Alistair's rage was barely being contained. "Since you have no further need of me, I must attend to some private matters. I will see you all at the celebration this evening by your leave your Majesty." It was like rubbing slat into an open wound she could tell Alistair's plans had failed and he didn't know what to do. She left the men to their very awkward conversation and headed back to her office to finalize Nate's new position in the keep.

* * *

She was heading into her room when she felt a strong hand grab her and shove her in. The room exploded with growls as she knocked over a chair.

"What in the Maker's name do you think you are doing? And who the hell is that?"

"Shadow, Goliath enough. Alistair you have no right to treat me as such." Anger was seething out thru her voice and the two hounds were taking a protective stance around her.

"Are you going to call them off?"

"Shadow take Goliath and go to Hawke." She watched as the two hounds walked around Alistair on either side and exited the room. He then proceeded to close the door and turned to face her once again. "You have no right to interfere in my affairs anymore. If the First Warden chooses to reassign me it is his right and you cannot stop it or interfere with his appointments. The Wardens do not answer to you as you should know you were once one yourself."

"I came here in hopes to fix us Raven. She is pregnant once the child is born we can be together again."

"Alistair there is nothing to fix. You broke us beyond repair when you tried to make me your whore. You broke me. For the longest time there was nothing left, I lived for duty and now… and now I have hope and it has nothing to do with you. I think you should leave before you embarrass yourself any further your Majesty."

"Raven I love you can you honestly say that you no longer love me?" he asked as his hands went to her shoulders in attempt to pull her towards him.

She brushed his hands off herself and looked him square in the eyes and told him "Alistair I loved you once but I no longer love you. You betrayed my trust and betrayed our love when you casted me aside to please the court. Now if you would leave my chambers I would like to get ready for the festivities tonight. I believe you should as well, it would not look good upon the crown if you refused to acknowledge the new Warden Commander."

"This is not over Raven, we will continue this," with that stated he left her chambers slamming her door shut on the way out.

It felt like a great weight had been lifted off her; she had confronted him and told him exactly how she felt. She could not wait to get to the great hall and see her family and friends, but most importantly she could not wait to get Brayden alone in her chambers tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to Musicalrain, Bubbleztehpwn and Moonstonez for the reviews and all my followers. I am sorry for how late this update is I will try to do better. I hope everyone likes this chapter because it is my first attempt at writing the naughty bits and it is kinda hard but fun so please enjoy.  
**

Hawke was sitting at the head table the King was sitting at the center of the table looking out among the other wardens and guests. To the King's left sat the Teryn of Highever and his with Leliana that he had met briefly in Orlais. There were two empty seats to his right and then himself with Fenris to his right. There were other tables setup around the perimeter of the room were the rest of the wardens sat along with some other invited guests. Even with the distance between himself and the King he could tell that he was upset about something and arguing with the Bann of Highever who looked very familiar.

Seneschal Varel entered from a side door and moved to the center of the room "Your Majesty, Lords and Ladies, Wardens and honored guests may I present your hostess for this evening the Hero of Fereldan Raven Cousland." With that Raven entered the hall being escorted by Nathaniel. She was radiant wearing a silk green dress that matched her eyes and a black leather cincher around her waist. The dress had long sleeves and a plunging neck line that showed the tops of her breasts. He noticed that this dress all though extremely beautiful on her covered her tattoos and in part hid parts of herself from everyone around her.

"Hawke, you should close your mouth before someone notices." Fenris smirked.

"Why Fenris was that an attempt at a joke?"

"Hmm."

"Good evening everyone. You already know how I hate formalities but I would like to announce the reason for this celebration." Everyone turned to face Raven as she spoke. Her voice commanded the room. "I am most graciously pleased and honored to announce that starting this evening that Nathaniel Howe is now the new Commander of the Grey and Arl of Amaranthine. I will be continuing to serve the Grey Wardens as an Ambassador to the Free Marches per request of the First Warden. Now brothers and sisters join me in congratulating the new Warden Commander of Vigil's Keep." The Wardens in the room all stood and cheered for their fellow warden as he lead himself and Raven to their seats.

As Raven rounded the table Brayden stood and pulled out the chair next to him. With a smile she sat down as Nathaniel rounded behind them to sit to the right of the King as it was his new place being the Warden Commander. Food was brought out from the kitchen and the casks of ale and wine were tapped in room. Music filled the room along with voices and laughter. It didn't take long for people to start dancing and mingling around the room.

"You look beautiful tonight."

"And you rather handsome yourself"

"Raven is everything okay my love?"

"Yes, it is just that some of the company here is making me a bit uncomfortable, but all is well and the evening can only get better." He felt her hand slip on to his thigh and give a slight squeeze which intern he took her hand in his and held it under the table.

"Well, lil pup what have we here?"

"Fergus, this is Brayden Hawke. Brayden this is my older brother Fergus Cousland Teryn of Highever you remember his wife Leliana?"

"Lady Leliana it is a pleasure to see you once again I apologize for not spending more time with you at the Duke's, and it is a pleasure to finally meet you Bann Cousland."

"Just Fergus please. So you are the one that Leli was hoping to steal away my little sister. I feel I have seen you before."

"Perhaps in the forests surrounding Lothering or maybe at Ostagar."

"You are the one!" as recognition finally dawned on Fergus. "Excuse me for being so blunt and bold, but if you break her heart again I will hunt you down and flay you in the night."

"Fergus!" both Raven and Leliana said in unison.

"Sorry lil pup and my love but it needed to be said she is my sister and I have to look out for her and Leli you wouldn't do the same thing?"

"He has a point dear one."

"Aghh, the price you pay for your family and friends."

"Not worry little bird I would expect nothing less and I would have done the same thing if it had been Bethany. Now if you would excuse us I was hoping to dance with Raven." He stood and reached out his hand, which she gladly accepted. He escorted her to the dance floor were there were a few couples already dancing along with Isabella dancing with a soldier and Fergus and Leliana followed them as well. They moved together flawlessly and couples began to stop and watch as they floated around the dance floor. When the song was over and he was escorting her to her seat they were interrupted by Alistair.

"May I have the next dance?" she squeezed Brayden's arm and hoped that he would somehow save her, but who was to deny a King. With reluctance he passed her off to Alistair but he had a plan to save her. Barely a minute had passed before Alistair tried to say something when Fenris had ran into them with a twirling Isabella.

"Sorry Ali didn't see you there."

"It is alright Isabella but if you would excuse us please." As he led Raven away there was a huge commotion from the main doors and in barged two large barking mabaris being chased by a small ball of fuzz.

Raven watched as Goliath ran to Hawke and hid behind him as Shadow ran to her and Sir-Ponce-a-lot jumped into her open arms.

"What did you two do to Goliath? Sorry your Majesty if you would please excuse me. Shadow come." She said as she walked over to Hawke and Goliath.

"I believe I have you to thank for that interruption?"

"Me never, why would you think that I would convince Fenris and Bella to randomly run into you why you were dancing with the King and then possible have Sigrun let the beasties out of our rooms to chase into here and cause a ruckus."

"Have I ever told you that I love your rakish ways?"

"No, but I think I know a way that you could thank me for them."

"Really?" with that he grabbed her hand and led her out of the hall with the beasties in tow.

When they got to their rooms he opened his door and shooed Goliath, Shadow and Sir-Pounce-A-Lot into his room but left the door open knowing that sooner or later they would get restless, while Raven opened her door and waited inside for him.

"I love you Brayden… I am sorry for making you wait."

"Rae I love you and in all honesty I would wait for you for eternity and if you need more time…"

Before he could finish he was cut off by a pair of soft lips colliding with his. He quickly took charge by placing one arm around her and walked backwards to lock the door. She pressed her body up against his and with her tongue demanded entrance into his mouth. It quickly became a battle for dominance with his tongue pushing and caressing against hers as he tried to savor every part and taste of her mouth. He pulled away only when air was finally needed. He began to nip lightly with his teeth down her neck as she used her hands to divest him of his jacket. Within seconds of him finding the lacings of her cincher he had it off her never removing his mouth from her skin. He had to pull away from her to allow her to take of his shirt and then he returned to her delicious mouth, he felt her hands run up and over his chest and then down his back around his hips to the laces of his pants, everywhere she touched left a wake of fire. His hands were now undoing the laces of her dress and slowly he pushed the silk from her shoulders and stepped back to watch as it slide to the floor and pooled around her ankles. She was left in nothing and he finally saw her hawk tattoo that was on her ribs along with a raven that was opposite.

"You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen and I am the luckiest man in the world because you love me and I love you." He picked her up and placed her down on her bed he stood up only for a moment to remove the rest of his clothes then moved towards the bed. He placed his hands on either side of her head and leaned down to capture her mouth once again.

She was in heaven she loved the way he tasted and the next thing she knew he was caressing her breast with his hand and slowly he started to kiss and nip his way down to her other breast. She felt his mouth caress her breast then a slight nip of his teeth on her nipple sent her back arching and a slight moan escaped her lips. She dug her nails into his back when she felt his hands reach her core.

He loved the sounds she made and he could feel her arousal the minute he touched the small patch of curls that covered heated center. He began to stroke the soft folds he found there and quickly the bundle of nerves that center arching. He could feel her breathing getting heavier as he slide a finger into her velvety heated core. He began to move it in and out at a slow place while his mouth still played with her luscious breasts. It was long until her hips began to keep pace with him that he slide a second finger in and began to move and kiss down her body. He heard a sigh which was quickly replaced by a moan when he began to suck on lick her nub while his fingers thrusted into her core. His other hand had to hold her hips down as she began to buck. He removed his fingers and spread her legs wider so he could replace them with his tongue. It wasn't long until he felt her legs began to shake and hear her scream his name as her orgasm over took her.

"Brayden my love I need you now."

"If it pleases you my love." All he wanted to do was bring her the greatest pleasure that he could so he kissed his way back up her body until his engorged shaft was at her entrance. He slowly pushed it in and was enveloped by her velvety walls he set an agonizingly slow pace slowly bringing her to the brink before he slammed into sending her over the edge for the second time that evening. The sounds of their moans filled the room as his pace quicken it wouldn't be long until he reached his limit as well but he wanted her there right beside to crest the peak at the same time. He could feel her nails dig into his back and he knew she was close so he started to thrust harder and deeper into her until he felt her walls clench around his shaft which sent him over the edge releasing himself deep inside of his love.

She felt the warmth of his release and the small thrusts as she rode out her third orgasm of the night. He was still inside her when she told him she loved him and he said it back. She felt him slowly remove himself from her then she felt as he left the bed. She gave a small sigh but soon realized that he was heading to the bathroom in her room. It was only a minute when he returned with a wet cloth that he placed between her dampened legs and washed away the traces of their love making. He threw the cloth into the bathroom and crawled back into the bed beside her.

He wrapped her arms around her and pulled her snugly into his side. He felt as she shifted and entwined their legs together. He loved this woman next to him and would do anything to protect her and make her happy. It wasn't long until he felt her drift off to sleep. He heard people pass by her door then a pair of low growls was heard as Goliath and Shadow detoured an uninvited guest. He let out a soft chuckle at that and placed a kiss on Raven's head when she sighed. It wasn't long after that that he drifted off to sleep next to her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Thanks to Musicalrain, , Bubbleztehpwn anf Moonstez for the reviews they were greatly appreciated. I hope that you guys enjoy this chapter and sorry about the delay I am trying to get better at updating but life happens and right now it is trying to kick some ass but thankfully not succeeding.**

She woke up in a blissful state; a strong arm was wrapped around her waist unconsciously keeping her next to the man deep asleep next to her. She turned to look at his face it was filled with content and love. She knew that her chance at true happiness lay with the man that had her in his arms. She was happy and content laying there in her bed next to him but her dreams from that night had disturbed her and she needed to clear her head. She careful disentangled herself and kissed Brayden on the head and stealthily got dressed and left her room. She headed to the training yard in hopes of getting a work out.

When he woke she was gone, he could still smell her on the pillows and he noticed that Shadow had taken up a spot at the end of the bed but Goliath was missing as well. He stretched out and reached a hand towards Shadow and scratched behind her ears. "Well know where did she go hmm?" with that said Shadow perked up her ears and jumped off the bed and padded over to the door. He quickly through on a pair of loose trousers and a tunic then grabbed his daggers and followed Shadow out the door. She lead him to the training yards and when he arrived it was truly a sight to be held. Raven stood there in the middle of the training ring surrounded by four fully armed and armored soldiers. Two were armed as rogues will the other two were armed as warriors one branching a very large axe while the other had a shield and sword. He saw Fenris talking to Sigrun while watching the men pace around Raven.

"She is magnificent, I can tell that she was holding back during our few encounters."Fenris said to Sigrun.

"What do you mean Fenris?" Hawke asked as sauntered over to them.

"She has been at this for over an hour and has not broken a sweat, and not one of these men has gained a hit or the two before them. Her speed is incredible and it matches her skill. I saw her practicing the style she calls Choream Gemina Pugionibus and with her speed I do not think even with my lyrium powers that I could beat her."

A sudden clash of steel and a loud thud drew Brayden's attention back to the ring, two of her opponents were on their backs unconscious, and the other rogue was wavering on his feet but still standing. The soldier with the axe was currently trying to bait Raven but she wasn't falling for it. The fight was over in a blink of an eye she threw one of her hidden daggers and the hilt caught the soldier in center of his forehead and he dropped like a rock and she had her sword at the rogue's throat with him on his knees.

"I submit."

"Aghh already Gailan, that wasn't much of a show what am I leaving Nate with."

"Well sorry Commander… I mean Warden Cousland."

"Its just Raven now," she said as she turned towards her audience. She saw Sigrun, Fenris and Brayden leaning against the fence and she noticed Leliana and Fergus coming from the keep with Alistair bringing up the rear. "So who is next?"

"Boss lady, no one in their right mind is going to get in there with you right now. You took out to recruits and four from the garrison."

"Well Sig how about you?"

"No."

"Fenris, Brayden hey Leli you want to spar?"

"Dear one I value my time with you and with that said I want to remain conscious for your visit."

"Hey Pup how about me?"

"Why dear brother you think you can take me on?"

"Maybe but I think I may need so assistance. Fenris what do you say?"

"It would be my pleasure."

"Lets begin."Raven said as she gestured for them to come into the ring.

Fergus and Fenris entered the ring and just to annoy them she turned her back to them. Fergus had his usual daggers and Fenris had his great sword.

"I have one condition Pup give your daggers over to Hawke for safe keeping or turn over your swords one or the other little one."

She took her daggers out of her hidden sheaths and threw and embedded them into the post next to Hawke. "Don't call me little one" she snapped to Fergus before spinning around and sweeping his legs out from under him.

"Love please don't antagonize her, you will only pay the consequences with bodily damage. Dear one don't kill your brother I have grown very attached to him."

"Sorry Leli," she said as she dodged a swing from Fenris's sword. Fergus rose back on to his feet why Fenris pressed his advantage of distance with his great sword. Fergus attempted to sneak behind his sister but she had saw his plan and used one of her swords to sweep his daggers from his hands. With her attention turned Fenris ghosted himself right in front of her and tried to grab her throat but she quickly dropped down and somersaulted out of the way leaving Fenris grabbing thin air.

"She has gotten faster since Fort Drakon." Alistair stated.

"Yes but that just makes her more deadly. The First Warden sent some men down a few months ago to do inquires about the blight and how she survived. Some of the men they sent couldn't believe she could have killed the Archdemon and wanted to duel her so she said sure. They spent the better part of a week in the infirmary even with our healers. I think the First Warden is afraid of her…"Sigrun's last words were barely above a whisper.

"She was always fast, graceful, and deadly. I remember back in Lothering when she took on Carver and Bethany. She almost got burned but jumped away at the last second and it hit Carver. Bethany felt so bad and Raven just laughed. I had told them that it would only end up with one or the both of them getting hurt if they were going to spar with her but the twins never listened." Hawke's memories of the twins sparring match with her were coming forward as he watch the deadly dance in front of him that pitted sister against brother and one of his closest friends.

"Just how long have you known Raven Hawke?"

"Longer than you Your Majesty, we meet back before the blight, I saved her, Shadow and Tarrant from a very angry wolf. I know everything about her, including what you did to her." He said as he faced Alistair.

"You know nothing of us." He spit out. "I love her and…"

"If you loved her you would have never down the things you have done to her. You broke her and filled her heart with mistrust and fear. You never truly loved her you loved the idea of Raven. The warm, kind hearted, free spirited, courageous, selfless, strong beautiful woman, and with your betrayal of her trust you broke parts of her, you selfish arse." The fight behind him was forgotten and the man in front of him had his undivided attention.

"Now your place Hawke, you are speaking to the King of Fereldan."

"I thought I was speaking to a Warden since that is what you are once you stepped into this keep. Is that not what you said at the feast last night or did I miss hear you."

A great sword landed tip firmly down in the ground between the two arguing men "Enough" Raven said as the turned to face the new danger. Fenris was on the ground rubbing his head while Fergus sat a few yards away with his head in his hands, Raven just stood there glaring at the both of them with her hands on her hips and her twin swords crossed in the ground in front of her. "Alistair when you step into this keep you leave your status at the gates and Brayden I do not want you to fight my battles for me. With that said I am going to go try and clear my head once again, Sigrun can you get someone to saddle Tarrant for me please. If you two boys need to work something out go ahead fight but do it when I am not around because I will not stand for some arrogant show of pride and masculinity. I am not some prize to be won."She turned and stormed back into the keep to grab some food before heading to the stables.

Hawke and Alistair just stared at her retreating form before looking at one another. Hawke reached for Fenris's great sword and walked over to the elf to return in then lended a hand to Fergus to get him back on his feet all the while Alistair was fuming and pacing back and forth. Hawke had return to the post that held Raven's daggers and reached to retrieve them.

"This is all your fault" bellowed Alistair. He tried to grab Hawke's arm but Fenris ghosted in front of him before he could.

"I would not due that Serrah, he has no wish to fight you but I have seen the change in Raven from her coming into contact with my friend again and I will not let you come between them."Fenris said as he held back a growl of rage. In the short time knowing her he had come to trust and care for Raven. She had a way to her that made you want to care for her and follow her and the change she instilled in Hawke was something that he did not want to see destroyed.

"Alistair a word of warning do not anger Fenris he tends to rip people's hearts out of their chest while their still alive when he is angry. You should have seen what he did to his last Master's apprentice, it wasn't pretty."

"But Hawke, that's not how the dwarf tell it. He says 'the brilliant blue light swarmed around the cavern making the brooding elf look terrifyingly beautiful as he reached his hand into Hadrianna's chest and ripped her still beating heart out as she fell to the floor as the beautiful Bianca stood watch over her favorite brooding elf' plus something about golems and skeletons I don't remember all of that dwarfs details."

Isabella sauntered over from the barracks saying "Ohhh dint forget the time you ripped out the hearts of those slavers on the wounded coast surrounded by the slave beauties of Rivianni. I always liked how he told that one." She turned to face Alistair, "Ali let it be I have known both you and Raven, and I know Hawke. You lost her on your own accord no one stole her from you. Me and her we've talked and you betrayed her. Hawke may have hurt her in the past but he has made up for it and he loves her and I know in some ways you still love her but if you want her to be happy you will leave her alone. I am pretty sure even her brother wants you to leave her alone you have done enough damage but he is too good of a Fereldan citizen to say anything. Ali please if you won't listen to us at least listen to what she has said. She doesn't want you."

With that everyone seem to leave the training area. Fenris, Isabella, Sigrun, Fergus and Lelianna went to the front of the keep to look at what the merchants had for sale. Brayden could hear Sigrun talking about Wade to his companions. He was proud of them and the way that they stood up for him. He headed back to Raven's room leaving Alistair in the yard with some of his guards.

* * *

Raven was in her room when Brayden arrived. She had just finish packing a small pack with some food from the kitchens and was grabbing a blanket.

"Little bird I am sorry, I was wrong to instigate a fight. I know you can fight your own battles but all I want in this world is for you to be happy. I love you, I always have and I have this instinct to protect you…"

"I love you too. How about you come riding with me, I will show you my favorite hide away from everything."

"If that is what you want."

"Lets go love." She said with a mischievous grin.


	11. Chapter 11

The horse that Varel had saddled for him was no match for her Tarrant, it was a beautiful bay named Thackery. He was a three or four hands smaller than Tarrant and well trained, but Tarrant had grown more since he had last seen him and he was the epitome of a war horse and he was fast. The silence between them was causing him to worry; she had not spoken since they left the keep. They had been riding for about an hour when they came upon a grove of birches that surrounded a small rock formation. It was here that Raven slowed their pace and turned off their path. They had dismounted and she had started to remove Tarrant's saddle before her approached her.

"So this is your big secret place? I have to say it is beautiful but it doesn't really scream hidden getaway."

"Well actually this is not it. My place is underneath here there is a trick to get in to it."

"Underneath?"

"Don't tell be the big bad Hawke is afraid of a cave?"

"No, just haven't had any luck with the things that tend to live in said caves, like spiders and darkspawn."

"I can guarantee you will find no such creatures here. Come on follow me." She led him around the trees to the outcropping of rocks. There was a small gap between the trees and rocks and if you were not looking for it you would have never found it. She slipped in between there still carrying the saddle and descended down a small series of rock stairs. He heard her place the saddle down then a series of clicks as she used her flint to light an oil torch that was set into the stone wall. Within seconds of her lighting the torch more lights came to light following a path that led deeper into the earth. Her saddle lay forgotten on a bench as she took out a small pack and followed the path into her retreat. Within a few minutes the came upon a large cavern, the oil lamps light the room and reflected of stalactites that had crystals embedded into them. There were a few stalagmites that had been grounded down to form tables, rugs were thrown on the ground here and there, a few chests were up against the walls even a book shelf full of books could be seen. The most impressive sight in the room was a huge dwarven carved bed that took up about a third of the room. He noticed the lack of fireplace but the room itself was comfortable warm.

"Rae where is the heat coming from in here, and how did you get everything down here?"

"Well second question first, it is very good to have made friends with a Golem and a Mage. Shale had found this place when traveling with Wynne and she felt I needed it. She made the bed, the tables and enlarged the cavern. I am not sure how the furniture was brought in but all I now is she did it. Morrigan would be responsible for the oil trick and for part of my favorite aspect of this place."

"And what might that be?"

"That would be the hot springs that heat this place. They run under the floors and open up in the room over there into a large bath that Shale built and Morrigan did a little spell work to. They were some of the most misunderstood people but they were great friends even now though I don't see them." She had turned around to watch him look over the room he seemed enthralled by the place he hadn't even realized that she had begun to remove her weapons and armor and set it on the chest at the end of the bed. She decided that his attention was better on her rather than his surroundings so with a rather large sigh from herself she had gotten his attention. "I am going to go take a bath if you want to join me you are more than welcome but you don't have to if you don't want to I will understand," and with a flick of her wrist she had thrown her undergarments at him and strode into the bathing chamber.

Braven let out a moan before removing his own armor and weapons before he went through the archway after her. He let out a gasp of surprise when he entered the steam filled room. Runes on the walls seem to keep the steam in the room, torches were lite around it and in the middle was a large pool that you could easily swim in. It had smooth edges around it and a set of stairs that led into it, but the most beautiful sight was the naked form of the woman he loved beckoning him to join her. He eased himself into the warm waters and swam over to the retreating form of Raven as she moved over to the far edge of the pool. He noticed that there were smoothed benches formed from the natural stone in the walls of the pool every few feet or so and his little bird was currently sitting on one watching him with a hunger in her eyes.

"So do you like my hide away?"

"Yes I do, but even more important is the fact that I love you and you seem to light up full of life the moment we got here."

"Well yes this place has that affect on me, but being alone with you does to."She had noticed that he had moved and was currently treading water with his legs as his hands were on either side of her shoulders gripping on to the wall that she was leaning against. He moved to sit next to her and slowly grazed his hands down her sides and lifted her to place her on his lap. "I love you Braven and I am sorry for the way I acted this morning. I shouldn't have…" her words were cut off as he pressed his lips to hers. His hands went around her back one pulling her closer as the other reached up to her neck to tilt her head to allow him better access to her yielding mouth. She pulled away only to allow herself the air she desperately needed and moved her arms around his shoulders to keep her place as she could feel his desire rising against her thigh.

"I love you little bird." He said in between kisses that he was placing down her neck. His own hand moved from her neck to her breast as his lips caressed and teased the other. Whispered moans were coming from her and it only heightened his arousal.

In breathless whispers she said "we should move these to the bed, neither one of us are going to want to pass out because of the heat."

He wrapped her arms around his neck and swung her onto his back as he swam over the exit. They quickly dried each other off and he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed. He was on her in seconds once they reached it. His hands ghosting up her sides and stroking across her stomach and slowly moving down to her center, he slowly slide his hand between her legs as he kissed her roughly. He heard her gasp as his finger entered her velvety core and his thumb found that bundle of nerves that sent her hips bucking into his hand. It wasn't long until he could feel her breaking over the precipice of her first orgasm and he started to trail kisses down her stomach. A surprisingly strong pair of arms caught his head and pulled him back up to her face where she kissed him passionately and flipped him over onto his back. She slowly kissed her way down his harden abs and over various scares from his life to his harden member. With her hand she wrapped her fingers around the base and slowly kissed up the shaft until she reached its head and enveloped it into her mouth. With slow steady strokes she moved his shaft in and out of her mouth never releasing the tip. She could hear him moan in rapture and within minutes he had pulled her up on him and sheathed himself fully inside her heated core. She tried to set a slow pace but he wouldn't have it and flipped her under him to set a hard fast pounding pace. He pulled out to the tip before slamming back into her causing her to gasp from her pleasure. They were both close to breaking over the edge and with one final thrust she crashed over and with her core tightening around him he was pulled right behind her.

They laid there on the bed for a few minutes both basking in the delight of their current love making. Arms and legs entwined around one another and Braven caressing small circles on her back.

"We should really take another bath for real this time. We have to get back soon and I don't want to deal with an angry King again my love."

"I don't think you will have to deal with him anymore Fenris, Isabella, Leliana and your brother had some choice words with him after you went into the keep."

"What did they say?"

"Nothing more than that you deserved to be loved and to be happy. I was rather proud of them they stuck up for us. What is going to happen to this place when we leave?"

"Nothing it will always be here for us. No one knows of it besides Shale and Morrigan and they would never tell anyone of it. It is my hideaway but also my safe haven and I hope to always keep it that way. It is on property that I own there is even a small farm a few acres away. Everything is under a different name that can't be traced to me except by one person and that is my brother and he would never divulge my secrets."

"And what name is that?"

"Noire Accipiter."

"Am I going to have to beg to find out what it means?"

"You can try but I promise you one day I will tell you what it means my love, but for now we have to be going."

* * *

By the time they returned to the keep it was late afternoon. Leliana and Isabella stole her the moment they arrived. Fergus had decided that in a two weeks time that there was going to be a ball in her honor in Highever and they wanted to get her clothes before her and Hawke's party left for Soldier's Peak. She sent Sigrun to have Wade make a new set of armor like hers for Braven and also to request that a letter be sent to Mikhael to make a set of daggers from some of the rare ores that they had found. By the time they were down shopping and the letter and requests were sent off it was time for dinner in the great hall.

It was a smaller gathering then the previous night only her guests and the wardens were present and to her dismay a very brooding Alistair at the head of the table. Small talk, stories and laughter were in abundance everything was going well. Plans were discussed about leaving for Soldier's Peak at an hour past dawn as the evening was dying down. She was content and happy and it showed in her demeanor and in her face, Braven kept in constant contact with her throughout the evening with either a hand on her leg or holding her hand under the table. They were about to retire for the night when Alistair rose from his chair and approached them.

"I am sorry to interrupt but if I may only have a moment of your time in private Raven I would be greatly honored."

She felt the smile that been on her lips recede and a knot form in her stomach. She knew he asked her in front of everyone so she could not deny him. "If that is your wish Alistair," she said coldly as she released Braven's hand and stood to follow him out of the hall.


End file.
